One of the most feared situations for a parent is coming to terms with the fact that the other kids at school do not accept their child. No parent wants to hear that “little Jimmy” was the only kid in Mrs. Wright’s second grade class not to get an invitation to Erin’s birthday party. Nor does a parent want to discover that their child eats his or her lunch in the bathroom everyday because ultimately, it’s better than the embarrassment of sitting at the table with the kids who have their lunch propelled into their face everyday. Additionally, no parent wants to witness his or her child unsociably staying home Friday night after Friday night sitting in front of the television, instead of attending their high school football game or going to see a movie, or even going on a date. After all this time of being labeled as the quintessential popular girl with her clique of friends I find it safe to say that I’d trade all the varsity letters, all the boys, all the parties, and all the homecoming dances and proms to be the mellow, outcast who nobody bothered to acknowledge; but that’s my opinion from the outside looking in.
For the average fifteen year-old the first week of high school often entails a mixture of fear and embarrassment. However, for myself and my group of girlfriends, all of whom already had older sisters who were in the high school, the first week of freshman year was invigorating. Who needed parents when we had upperclassmen to drive us to school? I was the only one out of the clique, however, who participated in extracurricular activities--I was a cheerleader, and it had just so happened that I was only one of three freshmen to make the varsity team. Luckily for me then, eating lunch in the freshman/sophomore cafeteria was never even a consideration as I already had seats saved for me by juniors and seniors in the upperclassmen cafeteria; life was swell.
It was obvious that other people, boys and girls both, did not appreciate my posse. We ran with the fast crowd, and the others couldn’t keep up. The boy who was voted “best-looking” his senior year, yea, we were at his house every weekend, and the other boy, who drove the newest, fastest, hottest car that his parents spoiled him with, we rode home with him; and if there was a party, we were there. All of that never really got to my head, however, until it was me who was on the outs.
My mother always said to me, “Two’s company, and three’s a crowd.” I replied mockingly, “And four’s a party!” Did you ever hear the statement, “Mother knows best”? Well my mom should have added that one into her book of quotations to recite to me, because as I learned the hard way, it was true. My mother was nicely trying to inform me that I was the person in the clique who made things crowded. While the other girls in my little group each had an older sister who were best friends, when it came time to hanging out alone they had each other, and well, as my mother said, “Two’s company…”
I started to experience that everything that everyone envied me for, the attractive looking guys, the constant group of girlfriends, wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. What good were one or two good-looking guys when there were five of us to fight over him? I suddenly found as well that my two so-called best friends didn’t appreciate me hanging out with any of the cheerleaders either. My life became controlled; “No, you can’t like him!” and “Why do you want to hang out with her?” I began questioning if this group was really healthy for me.
After removing myself from my own little clique I began to find that I didn’t need them to make me popular and that the majority of my classmates liked me for who I was. Most of my now friends even said that I was more fun to be around when I didn’t associate with “those girls”. Looking from my standpoint now, the outside in, I feel it’s safe to say that maybe I wouldn’t trade it all to be the person nobody ever recognized because as a dedicated cheerleader, that wasn’t me either. However it is safe to say that you can’t let your friends define you.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Blog 18
Summer. We drive down the parkway and take exit 80. As we go over the bridge we are stopped so a large liner can sneak beneath us. I roll down my window and a smell of salt and fish fills my car. It’s a good smell. Now we continue. As we approach, we creep to avoid an accident with any small critters on two wheels. The streets are always noisy. For the next two months my wardrobe consists of only two small pieces of clothing—top and bottom and my new address is now 34 Ocean Avenue. I quickly trade in my car for something with two wheels, or I prefer to walk. We bake outside all day, but not food, and party all night. During the summer, we’re the city that never sleeps.
Winter. We drive down the parkway and take exit 80. As we go over the bridge there is nothing there to stop us. I neglect to roll down my window this time; although the smell is still present, the warmth is absent. The streets are quiet and dead and now, Ocean Avenue looks blank. I’m not planning on staying. The city that never sleeps is now a ghost town.
Winter. We drive down the parkway and take exit 80. As we go over the bridge there is nothing there to stop us. I neglect to roll down my window this time; although the smell is still present, the warmth is absent. The streets are quiet and dead and now, Ocean Avenue looks blank. I’m not planning on staying. The city that never sleeps is now a ghost town.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Blog #14 Draft Essay 3
His name is Hank. We’ve known each other for the past twenty-one years, which ultimately is my entire life. I can’t remember what it was like the day we met, yet I also can’t remember my life without him. All I know is that I’m not planning on living my life without him; not anytime soon at least.
I like to consider Hank to be extremely cultured. As a child, and even to this day, I’ve had the opportunity to travel to many different places including other countries while being accompanied by Hank. He didn’t necessarily get his own seat on the airplane; most of the time he’d sit comfortably on my lap, however, he has still had the opportunity to travel a lot more than many others.
When I was eight, my parents, younger sister, Hank, and I traveled to the Bahamas, where we stayed at the newly opened Atlantis Hotel and Casino. Although he didn’t join us in visiting the downtown straw market in Nassau, or lay poolside sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them because he couldn’t get wet, I’ll speak for Hank in saying that he was very fortunate to get to stay in the newest, most luxurious hotel on the island!
During the summer of 2007 Hank traveled with our family again, this time to Curacao, an island commonly known as being one of the ABC islands. I even have a picture of Hank sitting on my sister’s bed in our hotel room in my photo album from our family vacation. Earlier that summer he also took a trip with some of my best friends and me to Kissimmee, Florida. My friend’s parents owned a beautiful time share and gave us permission to stay there for the week. Hank and I shared a bedroom with my friend Jess. We even had our own full bathroom! It was beautiful and we were so thankful to be able to vacation there. Although I didn’t bring Hank along with us to the different theme parks in fear that he might get lost, he still had the opportunity to stay with my friends and me in a lavish condo in Florida, located on an elaborate golf course that was too sophisticated for young adults like us.
In addition to being cultured, Hank is also educated. Hank joined me when I moved into my dorm room during the fall of 2006. There, he was introduced to my two roommates and two suitemates. Living away at school was fun and interesting experience for both of us. Although it was a tight squeeze, hank slept with me on our top bunk twin bed every night. He heard all of the scandalous stories my roommates and I would reminisce over from the night before. He would even keep me company in my bed on those cold, rainy days that I would decide that I didn’t want to go to class. Hank watched every season of Desperate Housewives on DVD with my roommates and me and met all of our friends that lived down the hall from us. Like me, Hank has had the opportunity to experience “the college life.”
Ironically, Hank remained nameless until we were about two years-old, mainly because I didn’t talk much until then. Actually, he was named after a friend of mine that had moved after we met at the babysitter’s house. It’s amazing how attached to other people you can be even at the innocent age of two. I began going to the babysitters as a tiny six-month-old when my mom had to return to work from maternity leave. Both my parents were fairly new in their careers and worked under a very demanding schedule. My mom who is an accountant worked for the city of Clifton, which was quite a commute from our house in Piscataway. My dad who is a police officer would often have to work nights as well as overtime due to his rank as a new, young police officer on the department. Therefore, I spent a lot of time at the babysitter’s house, which in reality wasn’t that bad as over the years my babysitter and her family became like a second family to me. It was at the babysitters that I met a young boy named Hank who I had befriended. Looking back I don’t remember much of our friendship. It’s hard to imagine what a friendship at the age of two entails but he must have left quite the impression on me since he is the one who I named my teddy bear after.
I like to consider Hank to be extremely cultured. As a child, and even to this day, I’ve had the opportunity to travel to many different places including other countries while being accompanied by Hank. He didn’t necessarily get his own seat on the airplane; most of the time he’d sit comfortably on my lap, however, he has still had the opportunity to travel a lot more than many others.
When I was eight, my parents, younger sister, Hank, and I traveled to the Bahamas, where we stayed at the newly opened Atlantis Hotel and Casino. Although he didn’t join us in visiting the downtown straw market in Nassau, or lay poolside sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them because he couldn’t get wet, I’ll speak for Hank in saying that he was very fortunate to get to stay in the newest, most luxurious hotel on the island!
During the summer of 2007 Hank traveled with our family again, this time to Curacao, an island commonly known as being one of the ABC islands. I even have a picture of Hank sitting on my sister’s bed in our hotel room in my photo album from our family vacation. Earlier that summer he also took a trip with some of my best friends and me to Kissimmee, Florida. My friend’s parents owned a beautiful time share and gave us permission to stay there for the week. Hank and I shared a bedroom with my friend Jess. We even had our own full bathroom! It was beautiful and we were so thankful to be able to vacation there. Although I didn’t bring Hank along with us to the different theme parks in fear that he might get lost, he still had the opportunity to stay with my friends and me in a lavish condo in Florida, located on an elaborate golf course that was too sophisticated for young adults like us.
In addition to being cultured, Hank is also educated. Hank joined me when I moved into my dorm room during the fall of 2006. There, he was introduced to my two roommates and two suitemates. Living away at school was fun and interesting experience for both of us. Although it was a tight squeeze, hank slept with me on our top bunk twin bed every night. He heard all of the scandalous stories my roommates and I would reminisce over from the night before. He would even keep me company in my bed on those cold, rainy days that I would decide that I didn’t want to go to class. Hank watched every season of Desperate Housewives on DVD with my roommates and me and met all of our friends that lived down the hall from us. Like me, Hank has had the opportunity to experience “the college life.”
Ironically, Hank remained nameless until we were about two years-old, mainly because I didn’t talk much until then. Actually, he was named after a friend of mine that had moved after we met at the babysitter’s house. It’s amazing how attached to other people you can be even at the innocent age of two. I began going to the babysitters as a tiny six-month-old when my mom had to return to work from maternity leave. Both my parents were fairly new in their careers and worked under a very demanding schedule. My mom who is an accountant worked for the city of Clifton, which was quite a commute from our house in Piscataway. My dad who is a police officer would often have to work nights as well as overtime due to his rank as a new, young police officer on the department. Therefore, I spent a lot of time at the babysitter’s house, which in reality wasn’t that bad as over the years my babysitter and her family became like a second family to me. It was at the babysitters that I met a young boy named Hank who I had befriended. Looking back I don’t remember much of our friendship. It’s hard to imagine what a friendship at the age of two entails but he must have left quite the impression on me since he is the one who I named my teddy bear after.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Blog #13
My proposed focus for my object may sound silly, but I’d really love to write about my childhood teddy bear named Hank. Hank has been part of my life for a very long time and I’d like to discuss why he’s my favorite teddy bear and about all the places I’ve gone that he’s traveled with me to.
Some specific descriptions I may use to develop a focus include when I received Hank, how he got his name, what he looks like, and the big question; will I ever be able to leave Hank behind? My parents sometimes joke because I’m 21 years-old and still take Hank everywhere with my including vacations and they’re curious if when I get married will I take Hank with me into my new home and life.
As the reader I would be curious about where did I get Hank from, and why I haven’t left him in the past. For most children their childhood blanket, or stuffed animal is left in a memory box and never relieved but it’s different for me. I also would be curious about what he looks like, and how he got his name.
Some specific descriptions I may use to develop a focus include when I received Hank, how he got his name, what he looks like, and the big question; will I ever be able to leave Hank behind? My parents sometimes joke because I’m 21 years-old and still take Hank everywhere with my including vacations and they’re curious if when I get married will I take Hank with me into my new home and life.
As the reader I would be curious about where did I get Hank from, and why I haven’t left him in the past. For most children their childhood blanket, or stuffed animal is left in a memory box and never relieved but it’s different for me. I also would be curious about what he looks like, and how he got his name.
Blog #12 Revised Essay
Boundaries
All my life I dreamed of being part of a large family; either to marry into one, create one of my own, or both! I dreamed of marrying someone who had lots of sibling, sisters whom would become my new sisters, and sister-in-law’s who would become my new best friends. I imagined gathering for the holidays with everyone sitting around a large table sharing food, memories, and laughter. Being part of a large, supportive family is something I dreamed of as an adolescent.
I come from a small yet close-knit family. I have one sister, who in reality is my only best friend. My mom has only one brother who is seven years younger than her so in essence his children, my three cousins, are much younger than I am. My father, however, is the one who comes from a large family—his parents were each one of seven and although he only has one sister, she had five children of her own. Unfortunately, due to a family discrepancy we no longer have contact with my aunt and cousins, and both my grandparents on his side are deceased. When I analyze my situation I’m often disappointed. My opportunity to be part of a large family is there! I often question if the discrepancy was worth us all losing contact with half of our family. Holiday gatherings in my family tend to be small now consisting of only my family of four, my grandma, my uncle, aunt and three cousins—not the image of holidays that I had in mind.
When I met my current boyfriend in the summer of 2007 I was ecstatic. Not only was I interested in him, but also I learned that he was part of a large family just like I was in search for. His mother was one of seven siblings, all of whom had children, which provided my boyfriend with fifteen cousins. I invited the challenge of meeting all of his family members. Although it was definitely overwhelming at first I truly enjoyed getting to know everyone and become part of the family. Unlike in my family, many of his cousins were all around his age and had boyfriends and girlfriends as well, so there was always something for us to do. Together we would all go to baseball games, to see movies, or simply hangout together and have fun. I loved my new boyfriend, new friends, and new family.
Together my mom and uncle own a beach house which both of our families either takes turns visiting, or sometimes vacation at together during the summer. Because together both families only make up ten people, the house is still comfortable even if both families decide to vacation together. My boyfriend really loves coming down the shore with my family. He enjoys fishing with my dad, surfing with my uncle, and playing football on the beach with my younger cousins, where sometimes I would get bored being with my family because I felt there wasn’t much to do except lay on the beach and read by myself.
When my boyfriends entire family decided they were all going to rent a house down the shore and vacation together I was so excited! I thought of how much fun it was going to be having everyone together for vacation. All the older kids would get to go out to the clubs at night, and during the day the whole family would reserve a large spot on the beach and sit and laugh together. It was that vacation that made me quickly realize how difficult it was being part of a big family. Spending a week in a house with over thirty people was for some reason not living up to be the same image I had in mind. Unlike on my family vacations, this time not everyone had their own bedroom and comfy bed. Now people were sharing bedrooms and sleeping on air mattresses. Instead of enjoying a hot shower, everyone was fighting over who got the shower first, and you were definitely going to get yelled at if you were in there for over ten minutes! Dinner was another battle. If you weren’t first on line, you were likely to get the scraps at the bottom of the cooking pan and there were rarely enough for seconds. And if you decided you wanted to go out to dinner, everyone else would either ask to join you, or hold a grudge because you didn’t invite them, when the truth was that maybe you just wanted to enjoy a nice meal out with your partner.
By the end of the week everyone was at each other’s throats and most of the family needed the following week to cool off from one another. Girlfriends who had been around longer than me regretted to tell me that that was the typical family vacation that occurred every summer and they apologized for not warning me sooner.
I quickly began to miss my small, intimate family occasions. Although we’re small we realize that, which is why I now believe we have an even stronger support system. We never fought on family vacations but probably because there was enough room for us all to stay out of each other’s hair for a while. There was always enough food for seconds because we didn’t have to cook for as many people, and showers were always enjoyable and never rushed.
After two and a half years of being surrounded by my boyfriend’s family I started to feel disappointed, as though my childhood dream of being part of and creating a big family was a bad idea. I began analyzing what took place within their family, and thought to myself that I would never be able to survive the “revolving door” lifestyle. Looking back on the way I was raised, I could never accept someone walking into my house without knocking first, or worse, doing so while my family and I were eating dinner. In my house, we don’t cook dinner assuming that any one of my family members may stop by and eat with us, and I don’t want things to be that way for me and my family either.
Finally it dawned on me; I would be able to survive the large family that I dreamed of as long as boundaries are set. The way I see it, if I were to leave my leftovers in the refrigerator regardless if my family consists of four people, or ten people, if boundaries are set, and respect is implemented my leftovers should not be eaten simply because they were left in the refrigerator which is a common ground in a household.
I realize now the pros and con’s of having both small and large families, and I think my boyfriend and I learned a lot from each other’s families as well. I would still like to have a decent size family of my own someday—not necessarily seven children, but maybe three! I appreciate my family a lot more now and am thankful to be part of both my own family, and my boyfriend’s. My goal is to raise a family the size I dream of yet at the same time teach my children and family members that my house consists of boundaries which must be respected.
All my life I dreamed of being part of a large family; either to marry into one, create one of my own, or both! I dreamed of marrying someone who had lots of sibling, sisters whom would become my new sisters, and sister-in-law’s who would become my new best friends. I imagined gathering for the holidays with everyone sitting around a large table sharing food, memories, and laughter. Being part of a large, supportive family is something I dreamed of as an adolescent.
I come from a small yet close-knit family. I have one sister, who in reality is my only best friend. My mom has only one brother who is seven years younger than her so in essence his children, my three cousins, are much younger than I am. My father, however, is the one who comes from a large family—his parents were each one of seven and although he only has one sister, she had five children of her own. Unfortunately, due to a family discrepancy we no longer have contact with my aunt and cousins, and both my grandparents on his side are deceased. When I analyze my situation I’m often disappointed. My opportunity to be part of a large family is there! I often question if the discrepancy was worth us all losing contact with half of our family. Holiday gatherings in my family tend to be small now consisting of only my family of four, my grandma, my uncle, aunt and three cousins—not the image of holidays that I had in mind.
When I met my current boyfriend in the summer of 2007 I was ecstatic. Not only was I interested in him, but also I learned that he was part of a large family just like I was in search for. His mother was one of seven siblings, all of whom had children, which provided my boyfriend with fifteen cousins. I invited the challenge of meeting all of his family members. Although it was definitely overwhelming at first I truly enjoyed getting to know everyone and become part of the family. Unlike in my family, many of his cousins were all around his age and had boyfriends and girlfriends as well, so there was always something for us to do. Together we would all go to baseball games, to see movies, or simply hangout together and have fun. I loved my new boyfriend, new friends, and new family.
Together my mom and uncle own a beach house which both of our families either takes turns visiting, or sometimes vacation at together during the summer. Because together both families only make up ten people, the house is still comfortable even if both families decide to vacation together. My boyfriend really loves coming down the shore with my family. He enjoys fishing with my dad, surfing with my uncle, and playing football on the beach with my younger cousins, where sometimes I would get bored being with my family because I felt there wasn’t much to do except lay on the beach and read by myself.
When my boyfriends entire family decided they were all going to rent a house down the shore and vacation together I was so excited! I thought of how much fun it was going to be having everyone together for vacation. All the older kids would get to go out to the clubs at night, and during the day the whole family would reserve a large spot on the beach and sit and laugh together. It was that vacation that made me quickly realize how difficult it was being part of a big family. Spending a week in a house with over thirty people was for some reason not living up to be the same image I had in mind. Unlike on my family vacations, this time not everyone had their own bedroom and comfy bed. Now people were sharing bedrooms and sleeping on air mattresses. Instead of enjoying a hot shower, everyone was fighting over who got the shower first, and you were definitely going to get yelled at if you were in there for over ten minutes! Dinner was another battle. If you weren’t first on line, you were likely to get the scraps at the bottom of the cooking pan and there were rarely enough for seconds. And if you decided you wanted to go out to dinner, everyone else would either ask to join you, or hold a grudge because you didn’t invite them, when the truth was that maybe you just wanted to enjoy a nice meal out with your partner.
By the end of the week everyone was at each other’s throats and most of the family needed the following week to cool off from one another. Girlfriends who had been around longer than me regretted to tell me that that was the typical family vacation that occurred every summer and they apologized for not warning me sooner.
I quickly began to miss my small, intimate family occasions. Although we’re small we realize that, which is why I now believe we have an even stronger support system. We never fought on family vacations but probably because there was enough room for us all to stay out of each other’s hair for a while. There was always enough food for seconds because we didn’t have to cook for as many people, and showers were always enjoyable and never rushed.
After two and a half years of being surrounded by my boyfriend’s family I started to feel disappointed, as though my childhood dream of being part of and creating a big family was a bad idea. I began analyzing what took place within their family, and thought to myself that I would never be able to survive the “revolving door” lifestyle. Looking back on the way I was raised, I could never accept someone walking into my house without knocking first, or worse, doing so while my family and I were eating dinner. In my house, we don’t cook dinner assuming that any one of my family members may stop by and eat with us, and I don’t want things to be that way for me and my family either.
Finally it dawned on me; I would be able to survive the large family that I dreamed of as long as boundaries are set. The way I see it, if I were to leave my leftovers in the refrigerator regardless if my family consists of four people, or ten people, if boundaries are set, and respect is implemented my leftovers should not be eaten simply because they were left in the refrigerator which is a common ground in a household.
I realize now the pros and con’s of having both small and large families, and I think my boyfriend and I learned a lot from each other’s families as well. I would still like to have a decent size family of my own someday—not necessarily seven children, but maybe three! I appreciate my family a lot more now and am thankful to be part of both my own family, and my boyfriend’s. My goal is to raise a family the size I dream of yet at the same time teach my children and family members that my house consists of boundaries which must be respected.
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